Time And Tide.

I don't know if it's the time of year, the world, the weather, my mood, ageing and ailing parents, or all of these things, but my own mortality has lately come into sharp focus.  I have the keenest sense that I need to make every second count, that time is running out.  I want to capture the moment, hold it in my hand, smell it, feel it, because I know it's important.... it's vital. I want to get on, do this, finish that, start a new project, do something, do anything - make a difference. These thoughts are loud and persistent, they're not with me all the time, but when they are, instead of feeling the desire to be up and doing, I feel a rising sense of panic and confusion that quickly dissolves into despair and overwhelming sadness.

How can this be?  I know that all things must pass, tomorrow's another day, the tide will turn, but what's to be done in the meantime, how do I break the spell?  Well, I started the day with an early morning run - that helped, it always helps.  I'll probably make a list, lists are always a good idea.  I could even make a chart, I love charts.  And, of course, I'm sharing my thoughts in this blog, sifting, sorting, writing it down, and wondering if anyone else feels the same way.

The picture shows the cruise ship MS Queen Elizabeth leaving the port of Southampton, Hampshire, in a blaze of fireworks to mark the beginning of her World Cruise on Sunday 6th January 2013 at 17:38.  Evidence that I have been able to capture the moment, as recently as yesterday!